Your Ultimate Guide To Mastering Tinder

Your Ultimate Guide To Mastering Tinder

Dating apps have become an integral part of our culture and how we „hook-up”. Finding someone to date online is always easier if you’re a woman, but you can do pretty well too even if you have a dick.

These days, our social media profiles carry as much weight if not more than our real-life personas. In reality, this couldn’t be far from the actual truth, but on a social level, it has a powerful effect. Online dating has also set it’s roots pretty deep into our world.

If you want  to become popular with the ladies on Tinder, all you need to do is make a good first impression. A lot of people use Tinder to find everlasting love and marriage, but the app just follows a „fuck yes or fuck no” scheme. Women are a lot pickier when it comes to finding men to hook up with. They’ll swipe you left without a moments notice if they feel one bit off about you. Which has probably happened more times than you would be willing to admit? I get it, bro, it’s a hard world out there.

Which is why I’m going to help you set up a tinder profile that will get you laid. You’ll find all the wisdom there is to know about running a successful Tinder profile. In the following sections, I’m going to show you the do’s and don’ts of online dating. Once you’re done with it, thumbs will slide right and panties are going to fall at your will.

Quick Info: To get yourself more grounded in what Tinder is and how it works, see this list of 33 facts you probably don’t know:

Use Photos That Will Make You

Often enough, your photo is the first and only impression or mistake you make as you try to find matches. Adding a photo that actually serves its purpose is the first and most important step. So make sure it counts!

Decide what kind of photos you’re going to use based on what you want to be known for. This is the chance to show off what you want to show off most about yourself, so take it. In an app like Tinder, it’s important that your picture isn’t just about how you look. It’s about how you come across. If you’re good-looking and deliver some kind of cliché, you’re going to have a hard time. You don’t want to go there because it will get you ignored right off the bat. Below you’ll find more than enough examples.

The Clichés To Avoid

There are numerous clichés that women are too tired of seeing. Some pictures can be pretty transparent and whisper about your insecurity. Some are just way too odd or borderline disgusting. Even though it’s low key, looks convey a lot about your personality. A dating app lets you show your brightest side, so why don’t you do that instead?

Group Shots

Nobody will take the time and guess which guy in the photo is you. If you have a group shot as your profile photo, you’re pretty much finished. A lot of guys do this because they are too scared to take selfies. Stop it! Just take a few selfies, show them how you look, how your body looks and toss in a picture of your cat too if you have one. Plus points for you if you have someone else take a photo of you with a better camera.

Gym Bro Photos

The few moments of your very last reps might feel pretty awesome to you, but you wouldn’t approach a lady like you’re just getting ready for a cage fight, will you? Showing off how vascular your arms are as you lift heavy weights, isn’t a turn on. You don’t see beastly shredded dudes on women’s magazines. So there’s a good chance that no girl is going to be impressed by how much you lift an how hard you work out.

The Car and Suit Photos

You have a BMW, run a business and own 4 other cars? Just take a shot with one of them while your favorite suit is on and boom! You’re suited for Looking For Arrangement, not Tinder. Yeah, some girls get turned on by material stuff and if you want to hook up with those, then you’re already know everything.

Man standing in front of a car.

Uniforms and Guns Aren’t as Manly as You Tink

If you’re a cop, security guard, soldier, park ranger or whatever, you might want to consider this. Even if you’re devoted to your profession, Tinder isn’t the place to show that. You’ll only make your first impression as a FED.  Also, you being crazy and open about guns is something that will get the ladies smashing that red button. Also, what would your boss say if he finds out that you’re showing your uniform off on a dating site?

Tools Of Your Profession

If you’re driving a fast car all day, have a nice setup at home or just a job you love, that’s great. But showing those things off often seems like flexing. A picture of you doing your job is great but a picture of an inanimate object doesn’t belong there. Just think about what you’re trying to say with the pictures you put up there.

Photos With Animals

Even though I wouldn’t want to deal with anyone who doesn’t love animals, there’s a fine line to how we should use them on our pictures. For example, if you’re a hunter, don’t show off your dead prey on a Tinder profile. A couple of thousands of years ago, good hunters swam in pussy all day. But on tinder, dead animals are just a turnoff. Be mindful of the kinds of shots you use and make sure they aren’t an expression of your toxic masculinity.

Show off with your cuddly dog or cat instead. If you ride horses, then it will serve as an excellent photo material as well. Just add a good scene to the mix and swipes will be flying right all the way.

Setting Up Your Bio

The images you use are important, but your bio is still an integral part of your profile. Your image will attract the girls but your bio will get them hooked on you. Remember that girls are much pickier than men, so the more they know about you the more your chances improve.

Here, you should share a bit about your personality, while giving your potential matches something to work with. It will be much easier to get the conversation started. You have 500 characters to use, so make them count. Use the most powerful pitch you can to sell yourself. It should be sharp, short and right to the point. Do you know how to be witty with your text? Well now is the time to do so! Use something like this:

„Subject of regular science experiments for money. They make me watch worst cheesy and romantic movies they could find.”

This doesn’t say anything about what you do in your day-to-day life, and let’s be honest, that’s not the first thing anyone wants to talk about. But it does say that you’re worth having a conversation with, which is all you need to get them hooked. Which moves me on to the next point.


Your Messages Count, Not Your Matches

Matching with somebody won’t get you hooked, they are only the first step. The real deal starts when you message the girl. Because you can wait a lifetime, she won’t message you. Of course, this is where most people fail the most miserably. One of the most deadly sins that get them to this point is when they start with just a „Hey J”. Because that speaks too highly of their advanced intelligence and their multi-layered personality.

The phrases „what’s up”, „how’s it going”, „hey girl”, „hey cutie” and so on, also get them to the same place. What did I say about clichés? They are a big no-no.You should instead leap into something special that will get the conversation on track. The best way to do so is to ask her about or comment on something you can identify with on their profile. You can just ask or comment out of sheer amusement or curiosity too.  Your matches’ profile is where you should look for conversation material hat will get you started.

Just keep in mind that you should always focus on her personality, not her looks. Neither her cute cheeks, nor her smile and definitely not her tits. Go for the photos that relate to the kind of person she is. Ask her the name of the dog or cat you’ve seen on her profile. Maybe ask her about the trip she was on. Just make sure that you show interest in ways that aren’t sexual. If you can’t come up with anything, just come up with a joke or say something silly to break the ice. Use something like:

„Ninjas are way cooler than pirates, yes or no?„ or “After how many dates could we go to Disneyland?”

Keep in mind that if you don’t get an answer, it simply means „no”. You wouldn’t want to put up with her if she doesn’t like ninjas anyway. Also if your messaging history with a girl looks like you’re just talking to yourself, you should switch up your tactic.

Accept If They Unmatch

It’s way too easy to go down a negative spiral if you get unmatched. But it’s not just about you. Tinder is very fast paced and people are quick to move on if they lose interest. They just get busy with their lives. Sometimes, like you and a lot of other people, they are there to people watch. Not all girls on Tinder are necessarily hell-bent on getting laid or getting together with somebody. If she unmatches you, just do yourself a favor and accept it. Don’t try to contact her on social media. Just be cool with it and move on. Dwelling on being unmatched will hold you back from all the hot meaningless sex or potentially meaningful relationships you could be having. Just make sure you don’t end up like Quagmire here:

Where To Have The First Date

Most important rule of the thumb, DO NOT insist that the girl comes to your apartment on the first date. You haven’t even met her before, so how would you expect to feel safe to come and visit you right away. Be patient, take her out for a drink and don’t treat her like pizza. It could work for some brave girls out there, but it’s best to stick with a restaurant, coffee shop or a pub.


I hope this article helped you up your Tinder game and that you enjoyed reading through it. If you want to read what advice a woman has to share, check out this VICE article.

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