The Sexual Fantasies That Almost Every Person Has

The Sexual Fantasies That Almost Every Person Has

Everyone has their weird little world inside themselves, especially when it comes to sexual fantasies. A lot of us choose to live it out at the sex bar if we can, but even there it’s easy to feel judged. Each of us has his or her own desires that we live out inside our heads, rarely giving it an expression in the real world. It’s even hard to talk about these things. Thinking that we’re weird or abnormal is one of the leading causes of anxiety. Which is why an American social psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller asked more than 4000 people about their sexual fantasies.

He wrote a book about it, called Tell Me What You Want. His goal was to show people that there is nothing weird about the things that turn them on. Being afraid to show your true desires will always make your sex life problematic. But knowing that your desires aren’t weird at all, in fact, the majority of people have them, will help you feel more at ease. With that said, here are some of the most common sexual fantasies people have!

Public Sex

Just about everyone has fantasized about having sex somewhere they could get caught, at least once in their lives. As Justin’s study shows, women are more prone to this. If you haven’t tried having public sex than maybe it’s time to do it with your partner or a lady you’ve met at the sex bar.

Just remember to check the local laws and understand what kind of acts would violate it and what punishment comes along with it. Furthermore, always check for security cameras wherever you’re looking to have sex.

Quick Info: If you’re curious about some of the strangest and most unexpected sex laws some countries have, check out our post about them:

Being Wanted

One of the first thing that gets most people going is the feeling of being wanted by another person. It’s one of the reasons a lot of men go to prostitutes. Furthermore, enjoying some emotion-driven sex that makes a person feel irresistible and beautiful, is what occupies most fantasies. It’s one of the best feelings connected to sex.


BDSM is getting more and more popular and more people to feel excited about the notion of getting spanked and experiencing minor pain during sex. In fact, about 65% of people have admitted this in Jordan’s study. They just happen to like the idea of giving full control to their partner.

This includes using gags, a whip, handcuffs among other neat toys. Of course, not everyone enjoys all of these toys. However, most people would indeed enjoy spicing their sex lives up with a bit of fetish play.

Red shoes and hand cuffs

Multi-Partner Sex

Jumping into a threesome or foursome is an exciting prospect for 89% of people asked in the survey. Note that they are only interested in small groupies, not all out 50 person orgies.

A lot of straight men are turned on by the idea of threesomes. Furthermore, women wouldn’t be bothered by seeing their partner having sex with another person in front of them.

Non-Monogamy Sex

This doesn’t mean cheating on their partner, because only 1% of people would be okay with that. It comes with a lot of guilt that they don’t want to deal with.

However, what plenty of people fantasize about is ethical non-monogamy sex, with other people that their partner approves of.

In fact, 62% of women and 79% of men were already fantasizing about being in an open relationship. Also, 58% of people said that they definitely wouldn’t mind watching their partner have sex with other people they don’t know.

Intercourse With The Same Sex

It’s no surprise that 59% of straight women have fantasies about having sex with other women. While only half that, 26% of straight men are having fantasies about having sex with other men.


There is nothing weird in thinking about unusual sexual adventures that really turn you on. Everyone has something weird that they are afraid of being judged for, yet everyone should just embrace their fantasies.

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